LIVED ONCE , DIED
TWICE
I felt so light, ready to flee in high sky, where no
boundary of likes or dislike , pure and impure.......away from all society hindrance
.I felt so high to be self and feel to be self
with an identity and individual
respect. Today I am what I am and not what I was as compound life in one
identified body.
"That is what we call your body identification as NAME
which distinguishes you from another by your acquaintances.....surprising there
might be same name many more uncountable but their classification is always
different " whisper translated wind
in words in my ear..........I was
glaring the new optimized life when this soft wind voice whispered into my ear
of soul, which was so calm composed, soft far away from all pain, vanity or
vandalized act ...all away from conceit world that created.
"so how do you feel with this new life?"once again
the voice created resonance in my soul....a frequency which had endurance of
silence of life and composite of daylight. I nodded with simple shift without
any burden on heavy imaginary weight, "very good...very relax without being conceit ......soft as concrete and hard
as windblown away"....I continued with silence surrounded with sweet smell
of bloom in life as blossom "you
know what, starved for whole life for this emotions..feeling of being
open in unique to life as life......cried in pain, tear shed in happiness but
every time, i ,never felt free from any pain or gain...gain i never had then."
"what me as I gained and what I lost is no more
....just sum up as everything is equalized, settled , solved....a imaginary
mathematical quest" i continued as lost in back score of life after any
examination we appear and the evaluate what we appeared in for and what we
performed...self assessment.
Silence was again broke with disguised smile in whisper
"was life mathematical problem for you....?"like small child ready to
open with words and talk as he can I too responded" yes indeed it was and
remained unsolved equation with all
theorem and axiom rationalized to solve or subtle it, but failed somewhere
sometimes...may be many times...maybe I couldn't understand the application in
life...lived life in pseudo equation to
understand different permutation ,combination , integral computation but
somewhere limits didn't defied the matrix of life geometry."....
Before i could complete a cold wave of streaky question was raised
as high but low tidal wave...."so you didn't match limit of life or
in life?"
As if I was breezed stoned with question , numbed ...nailed
fist which pained but no tears were flown......it gave me sense to understand
what i missed is of life or in life. "no, I didn't understand clear limits
of limitless life! true limit of limitless life i never understood...now i
understood how wrong was I when boasted
how Rich I was...possesses but never pertained ever forever....neither theoretically or
practically"...I smile laugh on myself for first time not being able to understand the quest till date.....which
rattled my rest of life.
In fact this is not what I felt ,but most of living life
lived progressive with one or alternative adjective. How many of life
understood what life meant was in end and never versed before......it did tune
lots of symphony with best of verse but couldn't felt the understanding is
unique as best. In the midnight ocean of life, we wait for the best in end and
never before the end comes....joy of life we we save as the best of
last.....but when is last....in paradise of horizon...life sets for the new
destiny but never fetch real meaning of last for the serve..specially a joy. We
wait to make wait silhouette a final impression but we fail to understand by
the time life will be over..ever.
"Today I feel colorful life to be more colorless, and
colorless life more colorful, more composed , more content and clear of life
vibrant that many or all of us miss in search of real life...we missed
it......but then it's too late for everyone....for me...I never understood till
i lived, but today I am dead I realize life is more than we treat, we believe,
than we live.
"I had lived once a life, but never realized till today,
after dying i understood what i missed. I never lived life to death, but Died
for life every death.
"Finally last question" clinch of light breath
whispered," how do you define life in end of your
journey?"........"I won't define but yes i would redefine life as
illustrative illusion which keeps you alive to understand the and kills you
when you understand the skillful art of life."
before more words would be transformed in me i asked,
"who are you and why i feel you as me in me?"........there was dead
silence to hear small resonance which came from within....."am soul which
you believe and treat to be you and distinct
from other. I am one in all as all is one in me"........
Silence was flown in purple of life which I never thought of
" today I didn't die , but I died earlier for not understanding the life.
This death was merely declaration of body to transformed and decomposed to futile more reasons others to
understand..i died when i couldn't
understand life as live.".
Finally a smile I face " I am surprised you were given an
opportunity to live, why did you prefer reference of death. Don't be surprise, I am life...not to
live but also to originate the every evolution for others to understand and
live a life"
"I LIVED ONCE BUT DIED TWICE"
by: d'pen sodha's